8:17 PM
Gil Student
Reb Lazer lists 10 qualities to look for in choosing a personal spiritual guide. Here are the criteria that I've used in the past in choosing a rabbi to whom to address my questions:
1. Is he fluent in the entire Talmud, Shulhan Arukh and standard commentaries?
2. Does he have good manners and treat everyone with respect?
3. Does he let me argue with him?
4. Is he smarter than me?
1. If I can catch him not knowing a basic halakhah anywhere in the Shulhan Arukh or not knowing a famous Gemara somewhere, then I can't respect him as a posek. I want a rabbi who can finish off the talmudic quotes that I start, and name the tractate and approximate page number. I have caught my current rabbi at being off by a page or two in his memory, but that is nothing to be ashamed of. It is very rare to be able to remember everything exactly. And since he knows the entire Bible by heart, I let the page thing pass.
2. I have yet to find a serious pulpit rabbi (at least one that I consider serious) who has bad manners. But I have had bad experiences in yeshivas so I keep this criterion high on my list, because it is very important to me. The Gemara actually states that one should only learn Torah from someone who resembles an angel. I interpret that to mean someone with impeccable manners and respect for others.
3. I have stopped asking my questions to a major posek because he would not let me argue with him. He would just respond with weak answers to get me to leave him alone, so I found someone else.
4. What can I say? I am impressed by a quick mind. I frequently speak in half sentences when I'm thinking hard and I need someone who can keep up with me and be one step ahead.
