Thursday, August 18, 2005

My Disengagement Dysfunction

A few commenters seem to think that I've gone crazy over the Disengagement and they are probably correct. I just posted the following as a comment to a thread but decided to edit it and make it into a post. (Note that I'm adjusting the time on a previous post about a destroyed synagogue because I want it to be on top of the blog for the rest of the day)

I guess this is me trying to deal with the mind-blowing tragedy I see unfolding that is hurting me so deeply. How did we get here and why are we here? This is something that haunts me constantly.

I was just dragged against my will to a cocktail party that had CNN Headline News in the background with repeating footage of the Disengagement. It made me nauseous and I left as soon as I could. It's not just guilt of being here and not there, because even if I were there I would not be there.

But what's going to happen to all the people once they are evacuated? Expecially the people who refused to pack or make any preparations. Where are they going to spend this Shabbos? What are they going to wear tomorrow? Why won't the children have their teddy bears? Or clean underwear? Because their parents were trying to prove some point by not packing or preparing? And couldn't we, as a community both in Israel and in America, have done much, much more to make the transition going on right now so much easier for them? But we've done nothing for them.

And isn't this better than the IDF just pulling out and letting the residents fight it out with Hamas and the PA? Would that have made anyone happier?

And why is no one talking about the soldiers and the impact this is having on them? Don't you see those Jewish kids struggling to deal with this in the best way possible? Do you think that this is making them more sympathetic to Judaism or is this widening the gap even more between the secular and the religious? Why are we forcing our brothers and sisters to tearfully drag us out of our homes, against our wills and against theirs?

So, yes, I'm grappling with our leadership, our goals, our present and our future. I can only hope we do better but the skeptic in me doubts it. Maybe I should just close my eyes to politics and pretend that the world outside of my Gemara doesn't exist.

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